All I Have To Show For It

Private Chef Chronicles: Summering in the Hamptons (Part 2!)

Well, today is Monday here in the Hamptons. All day. Just wanted to keep you guys in the loop. You know, the super exclusive, utterly fabulous loop of summertime in the Hamptons. I ran into Gwyneth Paltrow the other day at yogalates, and we chatted about the benefits of getting weekly facials and the state of our hydrangeas over nonfat soy lattes.

Nope. That didn't happen.

What did happen is that I cooked things. I went ahead and cheffed. Privately. I've officially been a private chef for 4 weeks now, and this is all I have to show for it:

banana cream tart

butter & jam thumbprint cookies

goat cheese & zucchini tartlettes with green salad

almond & apricot biscotti

hors d'oeuvres - tortilla chicken cups with tomato, corn and edamame

rustic peach cake. Ingredients? Rustic and peaches.

chocolate chip cookies, naturally.

and the ever-present oatmeal raisins. I make a lot of cookies.

toasted coconut cake

strawberry shortcakes

Asian-style (ish) beef salad

chocolate-dipped strawberries

caramel macarons

carrot cupcakes

And rice krispie treats. Because, at this point, why the hell not?

The good news is that I'm still alive, am still getting paid to cook, and have decidedly mastered the art of the grilled vegetable.

Also, I get to spend my days off sleeping late, doing -- or, um, trying my really, really hardest to do -- crossword puzzles (Thursdays are hard, yo), and drinking chocolate milkshakes with my gorgeous Grandma.

All at my favorite sunny house at the end of the island. The one with the big yellow door, the closets that smell like mothballs and the old raccoon prints in the garage.

There's no yogalates or soymilk, and I don't cook anything.

But it's really pretty wonderful.

Oh, Hey Employment. We Meet Again... In The Hamptons.

Private Chef Chronicles: Summering in the Hamptons (Part 1)

So, did you all have a nice, relaxing long weekend to celebrate the 4th of July? Sunbathing, barbecuing, boozing it up with your friends and family? Yeah?

Eff you.

...Just kidding. Though I got to participate in approximately none of the above because I was busy cooking myself into the ground and then not getting to eat anything because apparently that's what you sign up for when you decide to become a private chef, I don't begrudge you your fun-filled holiday weekend. Much.

No, actually, the fact of the matter is, multiple private dinner-parties during fun summer holidays aside, I'm getting paid to cook, and that's pretty damn awesome.

Want to see some of the things I've been making for my very special Bridgehampton family? (I'd tell you more about them, but for now I'd like to actually keep my job. Maybe later I'll tell you that they're a family of four - a mother, a father, and two teenage daughters - and that they like to have a plate of crudité before and a platter of oatmeal raisin cookies after every evening meal. But for now you know nothing.).

Here, the savories:

Spiced homemade pita chips with garlicky edamame dip

Grilled veggie platter

Grilled sweet corn

Endive with white bean dip and cherry tomato

Caprese salad action

Grilled vegetable salads, ready for eating

Grilled halibut with tomato, corn and black bean salsa

And here, the sweets!

Chocolate Whoopie Pies

Banana whoopie pies

Cake truffles

4th of July cupcakes

4th of July chocolate-dipped pretzel rods

Yeah, I did temper chocolate for this. ...What?

4th of July strawberry shortcake

Patriotic cookie platter

Unpatriotic berry cobbler

So um, yeah. I've been busy. Tomorrow, I'm cooking for a party of twelve. The menu is ambitious, but I'm excited about it. It has potential. If it's successful, I'll tell you about it in my next post. If it fails... I'll probably still tell you about it. For now, have some crudité. ...It's mandatory.